To you ❤️

Hey Baby,

I've wanted to write a note back to you since the one you wrote for me. I wanted to find the right words and this is the 3rd time I've written this out. I guess it's hard to put into words just how I feel for you.

I went back and looked at the first time you messaged me today, I ended up reading through a lot of our messages. It's crazy how natural everything was with us. It didn't feel like talking for the first time at all. I remember how it felt opening that first message from you, for the first time in a long time I felt excited. I don't even usually open messages like that but with you I knew I had to respond. It wasn't just the way you looked, although you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on, it was something else, I felt something I'd not felt before. It was like looking into the eyes of a past I had not yet had. I never used to believe in love at first sight and it usually takes me a lot longer to even feel anything for someone, but meeting you changed that. With you it was instant.

In your note you said that you've not had good relationships and you lost yourself. I know exactly how that feels, I've not had good relationships either and I also lost myself and all my confidence. I had given up on finding love too until I found you. I can't promise to be perfect all the time, sometimes I'm not good with words and I can get in my own head about things but I can promise I will never treat you how you've been treated in the past. I know this is just words on a page but I also know that over time I can show you that you are safe with me. I'm not a shouty person and my friends would tell you I'm one of the most loyal people you will ever meet. I know you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but when I look at you I just want to wrap my arms around you and take care of you for the rest of our lives and I promise I'll always take care of your heart. I've listened to everything you've told me about yourself and I do really take it in, a lot of what you say about your past resonates with me too. I know we have both got fears but I hope that we can grow through and past those fears together.

Over the past couple of years I've been guilty of keeping people at arm's length. I built up walls to protect myself but when I met you all those walls came down. I'm not usually the sort of person to love loudly, to the point in the past my friends have said it never really seems like I'm into anyone but with you it's different. I want to love you so loudly and tell everybody I talk to about you. Everybody around me can see how much I adore you.

I'll admit I was a little bit nervous when I came to see you, but not the scared kind of nervous, it was an oh my god she's so amazing kind of nervous. The kind of nervous that made me feel like I was 14 again trying to pluck up the courage to kiss you. The first night with you while we were in and out of sleep you grabbed my hand and pulled my arm over you to cuddle you, thinking about that now still makes my heart race. Having you in my arms was a feeling I'll never be able to put into words. I know I was extra gentle with you when I came to see you, but it was on purpose. You said before I came that you had period pains and I knew you wouldn't be feeling your best, and I just wanted you to know that you deserve to be loved gently too. Those gentle kisses we had are something I will never forget and the way you held me and kissed me before I got on the train home, I replay that in my mind over and over wishing I was back in your arms.

I don't just want you as a temporary, I really do want you forever if you'll have me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for trusting me with your heart. I know we've both been hurt before, but every day I'll choose you, and every day I'll keep trying to be the person you deserve. I love you more than I know how to put into words, and I can't wait to make a lifetime of memories with you.